everything is good, all it takes is a little baileys. i've been drinking for three days. too many things came out of that. but now everything is better. i'm over worrying. i can make decisions on my own, thank you very much. so nobody has to worry about me, i'll be fine. i am fine. but there are things left unresolved. have to come to terms with that soon. we'll see who will win the game we're playing.